The Ten Commandments of Electrical Safety
Beware of the lightning that lurks in an undischarged
capacitor lest it cause thee to be bounced upon thy backside in a most
Cause thou the switch that supplies large quantities
of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, so thy days may be long on this
earthly vale of tears.
Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and
upon which tough worketh are grounded lest they lift thee to high-frequency
potential and cause thee to radiate also.
Take care thou useth the proper method when thou taketh
the measure of high-voltage circuits so that thou doth not incinerate both
thee and the meter, for verily though thou hast no account number and can
be easily replaced, the meter doth have one and as a consequence bringeth
much woe upon the supply department
Tarry thee not amongst those who engage in intentional
shocks for they are surely non-believers and are not long for this world.
Take care thou tampereth not with interlocks and safety
devices, for this incureth the wrath of thy seniors and bringeth the fury
of the safety officer down upon thy head and shoulders.
Work thee not on energized equipment, for if thou doeth,
thy mates will surely be buying beers without thee and thy space at the
bar will be filled by another.
Verily, verily I say unto thee, never service high-voltage
equipment alone, for electric cooking is a slothful process, and thou might
sizzle in thy own fat for hours on end before thy Makers sees fit to end
thy misery and drag thee into his fold.
Trifle thee not with radioactive tubes and substances
lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug.
Commit thee to memory the works of the prophets, which
are written in the instruction books, which giveth the straight info and
which consoleth thee, and thou cannot make mistakes.
From Orbit, the journal of the Rutherford
High Energy Laboratory, 31 January 1965